Pondering... Love?

Over the course of the day, i've stopped to wonder..what exactly is love?

Is love just a feeling...deep down in the pit of your stomach? what if you start to really feel you're falling for someone?.. is that love or is it just lust?

i don't know exactly what this love creature is.. but why the heck do i seek it out so hungrily?

i've been playing with a sadistic Daddy on the phone for a few days now.. we used to know eachother back when yahoo had the old user rooms... and we never knew it...

i enjoy our little play time on the phone.. but i need something more..Someone i can touch...Someone who i can be with within a few hours... He lives in Kentucky... and there's no possibility of me being able to meet Him any time soon.

...it's hard when you're alone... you're miserable... lonely....lacking a companion.. a sense of knowing someone cares for you... someone wants to control you...someone...who would have your best interests in mind... someone i could trust my life with...

i'd be stupid to fall for someone so quickly.. but i guess it's just... that craving to be controled.. to feel wanted... or needed... to be felt i'm useful to someone in some way.. is a big lift off my shoulders...

i just want to find that one ...special person... one i can fall in love with and happily serve.. i want to hurt.. i want to feel love.. and joy.. all the good things that a person feels when they're in a genuine relationship. Why is it so hard? Why does it take me forever to even find someone i would even consider playing with?

Why can't i find love.. happiness... my place...

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~~Quote of the Day:~~

"There's something about you...

You're closed..tight.. a wall...

'I know'

...Do you ever loosen up?

'I don't know...'"

~Secretary (2002)~