There's Something About Being a Girl...

Well today was pretty cool. i got to talk to a few new people, and then got to thinking...

i received two packages in the mail today.. my new Demonia boots and what was supposed to be a pair of panties and a pair of stockings. The panties were free.. because the girl couldn't find a home for them.. they're cute.. a red lacey gstring. lucky me she also threw in a bunch more of stockings and tights and whatnot.. i like her now!

Of course, i had to model the new panties and stockings and boots, so two choice boys and a Master got to see me in them today. After i grew tired of the boys, i got in my little school girl outfit and my boots.. down to the white cotton panties. After dealing with the boys for a while, i needed a change.. a release. i can't be Dominant all the time.. it just won't happen. Sometime it has to cave. When i submit.. it's a big load off my shoulders. i don't want to make the decisions anymore. i need to be controlled... put in my place..i need to know that i'm not 100% Dominant. i can't handle that.

Daddy got online, and i had to say hey Daddy... lookie what i'm wearing.. but i somehow know Daddy had a hard day ..or a bad day.. or wasn't feeling well today.. i sensed it..i don't know how or why.. but i did... then i thought Daddy was somehow mad at me.. and i don't want that..sighs..

Taking time out to just relax, be me, cuddle up with a stuffed animal or two and just be a little girl without a care in the world felt so good...i needed it today. It's such a relief.. a release.. and i wish i could just find someone to keep me in that mindset all the time..i'm so tired of having to make all the decisions myself. i don't like it... i want a release... i want happiness.. i want my Master.. my Daddy... my best friend... i just wish it was that easy to find Him.. *sighs.*

i talked with an old friend today... He told me He loves me..and wanted to Own me for a long time... but i just don't know... sighs. i don't know if He's my type... but i did introduce Him to Daddy/daughter for the first time and He liked it... who knows... but what worries me is He's a couple states away... and if i got too attached like i've been known to do, it would get really hard.

The brick wall is still up and going strong.. and i'm not about to drop it down yet. i've been hurt too many times.. and still have issues about letting the past go. The past is a cruel Master... it hurts, it remembers... and it's the most punishing thing i know of. It's unforgiving.

..while i have a deep down desire to serve, to love, to be loved in return, and no matter how much it kills me not to have Someone to do that with... i'm not desperate, and i will wait.. no matter how much it hurts...*sighs.*

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~~Quote of the Day:~~

"Little girls are precious gifts wrapped in love serene.
Their dresses tied with sashes and futures tied with dreams."

~Gay Talbot-Boasay~