He's Back!!!

i finally heard from Master Wolverine this morning. He is safe.. alive..and well. the tidal wave did not hit as far back as His Home. All of the candles, prayers, well wishes, and positive thoughts worked!! they really worked!!! *yawns sleepily* i'm up entirely too late again. it is starting to get to me.

This will be my last post until Monday. Tomorrow, i'm headed for detroit to spend time with Master...and Master Anominar and xue sis. i cannot wait to see Master.. i can't.. i can't. i miss Him so much.

i got part of my stuff done today. i called and confirmed my appointment and got my physical therapy records. i also went and bought a book of stamps and sent the check out in the mail for Master's birthday presents.yay!

i'm going to cut this one short. i'm so tired.. and my shoulder is killing me. i have to wake up early tomorrow to get more things done.. oi.. what a day ahead of me.

goodnight, Master. cindy loves You, and will see You soon ..very..very soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~Quote of the Day:~~

"Some people may forget what You say,

Some people might even forget who You are,

But people will never forget the way You made them feel."

~~Unknown~~

It's Something Unpredictable..

my day was not too bad today, aside from not getting those phone calls made. i woke up hurting again with another migraine.. and didn't get to do what i needed to do in time, so .. they will get done for sure tomorrow, seeing as i have physical therapy and have to be up by a certain time anyways. Thankfully Master has tomorrow off, so W/we can talk for a while online *crosses fingers.* i have missed Him so much, and W/we have not had the chance to talk very much lately. Master works long and hard hours, and when He comes Home, i understand He is tired, and His sleep and rest come first and foremost above me. i would not have it any other way.

i still keep Master Wolverine in my thoughts, and still ask E/everyone to keep candles lit for the People of Sri Lanka and Aisa that got hit by the tsunami... over 24,000 are dead so far... 24,000. There is still no word from Him *sighs.* Tomorrow will be day three since i have heard anything from Him..and day three since the tsunami. i saw horiffic pictures and video on the news today. Saw the wave coming in towards tourists... and many injured people being treated at makeshift hospitals... and the endless rows of body bags. i just pray He is not One of the people in a bag. i worry so much about Him. Even though i only have known Him for such a long time, i feel W/we developed a bond. All i've been doing is looking back at the dance i made for Him that night and the archives of His messages between U/us... and the serves. i've had to hold back tears just thinking about the images and praying He is ok. i have kept candles lit from the time i've woke until the time i sleep, hoping they guide Him and the rest of the people Home. Let them be their beacon.

i had a very good time in chat after Master went to bed today. W/we had some unexpected visitors from IRC and different rooms in yahoo. T/they were more than welcome in DCR because the room was dead..literally. W/we A/all had fun, and i did a serve to one of the IRC Masters. one of the girls came over to yahoo to find out where the girl who her Master had just freshly collared came from on yahoo. she had been telling stories of strange rules and policies...strange even for me to comprehend, so, she came in and asked us some questions about yahoo Gor. i, of course, answered her questions to the best of my abilities, and agreed with her that some of that stuff the girl said.. is plain crazy. i promised to come and visit T/them over in IRC when i can, but first i have to get the code from the puter in the livingroom and d-load IRC on my new puter here in my room.

i cannot wait for Friday. Master and i finally get to see E/eachother and be Together for New Year's Eve. i cannot thank Master Anominar and xue sis enough for opening Their Home to Master and i for New Year's, and allowing me to stay with Them until Monday. If it weren't for T/them, Master and i would not be seeing E/eachother until the weekend after nest. i cannot wait to snuggle, cuddle, tell Master i love Him over and over again, and do the cutesey lovey dovey stuff with Him. Master gets His Kissmas presents too on New Year's. i know He will like what i got Him lots.

i really miss being able to call Master when He is working. Master lost His cell last week and has to wait to get a new number and phone thru a different company. i miss being able to call Him while He is working and just talk to Him to hear His voice *sighs.* Hopefully W/we can cam and voice chat tomorrow evening. i don't think that i'll be in chat much tomorrow if at all. i want to spend some time with my Master.

i love You, Master. cindy did two serves in chat today, made dinner for the Home, created a poem for Mistress Inga on the fly, sent the chores list to Mistress Grey, did her journal entries, and misses You bunches. cindy's messenger is on as always, and awaiting Your buzz and message.

Goodnight, Master.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~Quote of the Day:~~

"Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go. So make the best of this test, and don't ask why. It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind. Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time. Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial. For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.I hope you had the time of your life."

~Greenday, "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life.)"~

Please Light a Candle

Today was a bad day. i woke up this afternoon with a migraine and went back to bed to try to sleep it off. i woke up at 6 pm still with the migraine, and went to the kitchen to make me a bowl of cocoa pebbles. i came out of the kitchen, sat down on the couch in the livingroom and watched the news with my dad. i found out that Sri Lanka and a lot of Aisa was hit by a tsunami *tidal wave,* as a result of an earthquake that measured 9.0 on the scale and origionated somewhere in Indonesia. Master Wolverine from DCR in yahoo lives in Sri Lanka. i really hope and pray He is ok. The island is basically destroyed. 4,800 people are dead, and another 1,200 are missing. my first instinct was to get online and get to messenger and leave Him a message to contact me asap. i have had three candles lit since i found out this evening, and have had Him and the others in my thoughts all day long. i ask that E/everyone keeps Master Wolverine and the people of Sri Lanka in Y/your thoughts and prayers, and please light a candle for them.

i really like Master Wolverine. W/we would be in pm with E/eachother from about 3:30-4AM til about this time every day. He is such a sweetheart, and a wonderful Master. i even did a dance for Him the other day, and looked back upon it and smiled this evening, knowing i did please Him and had a wonderful night that night. i miss talking to Him, and pray He returns to U/us soon. my heart is hoping and praying He is alright, but my gut is telling me otherwise.

There is a reason i watched the news today. i generally do not watch the news, in fact, i try to avoid it like the plague. my father used to make my little sister and i watch the news three times a day when we were growing up. i grew to hate it, and so i usually am in my room online at that time of night. Something told me to wake at 6 today and watch the news.

All day i have been walking around like i'm half tranced. It's like.. someone is trying to talk to me on the spiritual level.. and time has been slowing down rapidly. But i don't know who it is or what is going on. Something just is not right. i also wrote a poem today...and it is kind of strange too...

~i am Your Light~

i am Your light,

Search for me.

Seek me out in Your time of need.

Give me Your pain,

Do not hurt anymore.

Search for me and i shall be there.

Tell me Your troubles,

Tell me Your lies,

i will be there to listen to You.

Seek me out in Your greatest time of need,

For i am Your beacon,

i am Your light.

...strange, huh.

i have to wake up early today.. ugh. i have to call around to my dr's office and get files transferred, i have to get mri reports transferred, confirm the appointment my workman's comp made for me to go get re-evaluated, call physical therapy and get a report from them, get x-rays or reports, surgical records, mri reports, the works. DO NOT EVER GET HURT AT WORK. It is such a pain in the ass, and definately not worth it.

Master, i love You, and i will talk to You tomorrow. my messenger is on as always, and i await Your message.

Goodnight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~Quotes *yes two* of the Day:~~

"Be of good cheer about death and know this as a truth--that no evil can happen to a good man, either in life or after death."

~Socrates~

"Om Asatoma Sadgamaya

Tamasoma Jyoti Gamaya

Myrityoma Amritam Gamaya

From delusion lead me to Truth

From darkness lead me to Light

From death lead me to eternal life."

~Hindu prayer from the Sanskrit - Universal Prayer ~

The Aftermath

Finally!! The evil christmas beast is done and over with!! WOO HOO!!!i am sooooooooooooo glad it's done and over with. i had a really bad day yesterday with the depression and missing Someone to cuddle and snuggle with.

Master did not make it out here today, and at first, W/we thought W/we were not going to be able to see E/eachother until the 7th thru the 9th. BUT!! Because of T/two good F/friends of mine in Detroit, i get to see Master *yaaaaaaaay!!* T/they are a Master/slave lifestyle couple just like Master and i are. she offered to come and pick me up.. and even offered me to stay in T/their Home for the weekend.

i received a nice amount of presents this year from my family. needless to say though, i got the least from everyone because no one knew what to get me...lmao. i'm hard to shop for i guess. It's hard for me to tell people what i want, because i really don't want anything, per say. i'm happy with what i have, and i really don't need more than that. i like giving presents more than receiving. i love to spoil others... specially my Master. i love You Master.

Speaking of spoiling Master...lol..ummm... i kind of ordered a couple things for Him today. i know He will absolutely love them. they will make awesome type birthday presents for Master... only thing is i don't know if i can wait that long to give them to Him!!! lol... *anticipation, anticipation...*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~Quote of the Day:~~

"To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage, because we don't want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt."
~Madonna, O Magazine, January 2004US actress & rock singer (1958 - )~

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas, E/everyone, and a Happy Winter Solstice to A/all of my Pagan friends.

i had a long night again, and i just keep thinking about holidays of the past. Thinking of what i was doing, where i have been, W/who i was with, and it all depresses me badly. i hate the holidays...especially christmas, thanksgiving, and new year's.

In my desk right now sit two champagne flutes that Matthew and i bought last year. Suprisingly they are not broken yet. They were bought before christmas with a big bottle of Asti. It was a set. W/we bought the champagne just because of the glasses. my dad bought a bottle of Balletore for New Years that was so much better than the Asti. Asti is really dry, and the Balletore has a sweeter taste. Now, i don't drink much, and i have had one drink since last March, but champagne for christmas and new years was a thing that Matthew and i did. It was a time for cuddling, kisses, nuzzling, giggling as bubbles tickled the nose, bonding, and having fun Together.

i cannot tell A/anyone the wonderful feeling is of waking Someone up, looking at their beautiful sleeping face, kissing it, and saying, "Merry Christmas, my Master," and then with a goodmorning kiss, and cuddling for a good 15-20 minutes just cuddling and groping and running of the hands down E/eachother's body while so madly, wildly, infatuated with E/eachother...it is heaven on earth... especially knowing that Y/you have made it another year Together... a dreamer's dream, i guess. W/who would have guessed it would later turn into a nightmare?

All A/anyone can do, is try to get over T/their past, but the past is never an easy thing to overcome. P/people have hard pressed memories into T/their brains. Feelings of love, wanting so badly again those memories and good times of the past, knowing they will never become a reality again... is a living hell. All i can do is pray for every holiday to be better than the last, but christmas....and new years....will never be the same.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~Quote of the Day:~~

"Have yourself a merry little Christmas,

Let your heart be light.

From now on,

Our troubles will be out of sight.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,

Make the Yule-tide gay,

From now on,

Our troubles will be miles away.

Here we are as in olden days,

Happy golden days of yore.

Faithful friends who are dear to us,

Gather near to us once more.

Through the years,

We all will be together,

If the Fates allow.

Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.

And have yourself A merry little Christmas now"

~.*Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas! The heart warming Christmas song Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas was immortalised by Judy Garland when she sang this song to Margaret O'Brien and brought tears to the eyes of the audience. The lyricist for Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas was Ralph Blane and the haunting music was composed by Hugh MartinThe song Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas was first published in 1943. The title of Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas is undoubtedly one of the saddest Christmas songs of the century.*.~

Piccies of cindy

picture of cindy in all her glory..awe

Here i go posting pix of me.. finally got the prog that will let me dood it so yay!!! more piccies to come in a few seconds :)

picture of cindy in one of her collars.. that one is so heavy with three big O rings.. one on each side. 

*sighs softly*

...well... the couple days that i was really looking forward to turned out to be a bust. *really really REALLY hates Master's Roommate.* Because of the snow, and Master's roommates buying xmas dinner not thinking of me, and the fact that Master has to work the day after xmas, Master can only come up here to see me for a few hours on either xmas or xmas eve *sighs.*

*is really disappointed about it.* Master promised to beat me this weekend and there is no possibility of that now. Not only that, but no sex, no cuddles in bed, probably no alone time, and having to act nilla around my family. Yes, my family does know that i am lifestyle, and they think it is basically an old fashioned marriage and some P/people get kinky with ropes, cuffs, etc. my lil sis does not understand how i can give my rights and total control of myself to Someone...so she threatens me with holy water and the bible all the time. In respect to them, i do not wear a collar in front of them either. That is my choice. i really do not want them to see me wearing a big black leather collar around my neck and listen to my mom call it a dog collar. However, i can wear my bells without threat of that.

i have to help my dad for a good chunk of the day today, so i am going to keep this entry short. i love You Master, and if You cannot buzz me awake, keep trying... lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~Quote of the Day:~~

"i'm here without You, Baby,
But You're still on my lonely mind,
i think about You, Baby,
And i dream about You all the time.
i'm here without You, Baby,
But You're still with me in my dreams.
And tonight, it's only You and me."

~3 Doors Down, "Here Without You."~

Playing with Website

yay.. ok so i updated my website tonight and added the two following pages:

http://www.geocities.com/cindy_,mjstr/InYourArms

AND

http://www.geocities.com/cindy_mjstr/scene

Those two pages took me three and a half hours to make. THREE AND A HALF HOURS!! i had to go in and find backgrounds and pictures for the pages, then type in the words, then place the things where i wanted on the screen, then save them, then go to the main page where my work is kept and add a link there..and straighten things out there...and it took forevers! GEESH!

Then when i got done with that, i went into the chat room *Dragon's Claw Realm on yahoo,* and the only One who was in the room was Master Wolverine. He was there and a girl that just got done serving Him was ready to leave..so she left seconds after i got in. Then He wants me to dance for Him! After three and a half hours of typing in third and editing and all that.. He wants me to keep the creative juices *pun intended* flowing. so... i complied, and did a belt dance for Him which is posted in the group's MSN community. i've been a vewwy busy little slave today! Woo! A very busy little slave that loves her Master very much and cannot wait to see Him tomorrow.

Love You Master.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~Quote of the Day:~~

"...I hope You don't mind,
...I hope You don't mind,
That i've put down in words...
How wonderful life is,
While You're in the world."

~~Elton John, "Your Song."~~

Another Long Night

Alright i have entirely too much going thru my mind tonight... and i'm in entirely too much pain. *Sighs.* my leg hurts all the way up to my thigh. It sucks though because i have therapy again in a few hours seeing as it is almost 9:30 AM again and i have not been to bed yet *as she still tries to force the snapping out of third person after spending most of the night in Gor again.*

Things that bother me:

in the DCR group on msn, i realized that when you make a journal entry, E/everyone can see it. i do not like this. journal entries are meant to be private. They are for the person who wrote them and who they want to see them... not a whole group of P/people. Even though i was told by Master Shivan that girls cannot be punished for what they write in their journals, it kind of ....makes me feel strange.. like i cannot open up to that journal as much as i want to.

my family: oi... don't get me started. The christmas tree was put up the other day.. and the family is so lazy that it still sits bare..with no lights or ornaments on it. i have been busy with my therapy, and being kidnapped by ppl to go shopping and whatnot. i have not had the time to do jack shit around here. Dad usually puts the lights on the tree and lets my little sister and i put on the ornaments.. well guess what.. the lights are in a box somewhere...still.... and i'm staring at boxes of bulbs and ornaments right now.. WHERE MY BED SHOULD BE!!!!!!!!!!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR... ok ranting over. time for motrin 800 and sleep til 2pm again..lol going to get 4 1/2 hrs of sleep today..that's it.

cindy will talk to You later today, Master. she hopes Your day will not be filled totally with sorrow. When things get tough or You think You cannot handle something, borrow a phone and call my cell... or call out my name and look to the shadow to Your left, there i shall be to comfort and cuddle You when You need me the most.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~Quote of the Day:~~

Up and down that lonely road of faith
I have been there
Unprepared for the storms and the tides that rise
I’ve realized one thing, how much I love you
And it hurts to see, to see you cryin’
I believe we can make it through the winds of change

God is great indeed
If you believe, in the everlife
Yeah we gotta
Make some sense of the piece that’s not defined (oh no woah no)
And if you just hold on, I wont let ya fall (i won't let you fall, no-oh,)
We can make it through the storms and the winds of change

Though I walk through the valley of darkness, I am not afraid
Cause I know, I’m not alone.

~~Kid Rock ~Cocky~ "Lonely Road of Faith."~~

What a Day

*yawns sleepily* cindy is headed off to bed at quarter to seven in the morning. Yesterday was a long and tiring day, full of fighting amongst family and F/friends both online and in real life. Thankfully cindy stayed in her room all day long. Holy begeezus.. i just realized i'm talking in third! Ok i have come to realize that online Gor is bad for me.. and realized kind of why she left online Gor to begin with...lol. *still wants to say she and cindy and all those third person words.* i dunno, Master..is that good or bad??? lol. although i have never actually spoke in third person real life, i have done a lot of typing and talking online in third. ohhh boy.. Master heard me thinking about Him..lol.. i feel His presence here with me now telling me to go to bed and rubbing my back...and arm....and leg... OK MASTER i get the point..geesh... will finish up this post and get my slut ass to bed. i love You Master. i love You very very much, and i look forward to seeing You later today.

i have physical therapy at three o'clock til four, and after that i will probably do some shopping for xmas. i still have some important ppl to buy presents for AND another present for Master because He is getting me a big giant stitch....aweeeeeeee so now has to find something really REALLY good for Him....what to get.. what to get...hmmmm...

*blows goodnight kisses to her Master before dragging her slut ass to bed.*

a Christmas Rescue Mission

My little sister came in my room when she got home from college today, and asked me if i could help out a family in need this Christmas. i said, "do i know them?"

She replied, "Well i don't know, but Aunt Penney knows this person. She works up town at the dime store and just moved here from the next town over. She has two children, a girl age 7 and a boy age 5, and they didn't even have winter jackets until last week. They had one pair of socks, two outfits each to wear to school and they both need new shoes because they're falling apart. Their father is a dead-beat dad and doesn't see them at all let alone pay child support, and their mother works almost 24/7 to make ends meet. They didn't even have a Christmas tree, so one of the ladies up there gave her an old one and some Christmas ornaments to decorate it with."

i immediately went to my bank account online and checked to see how much money i had set back for my bills that can wait another week, and then it was off to the atm to draw out the money. My Aunt has put in a bunch of money, as well as some of our other family members, but the gifts my mother, sister, grandmother, and i are making for the children and the mother are special. We are making them fleece blankets from scratch and a matching pillowcase to go with them. The children are also getting matching giant dolls that go with the blankets *sponge bob for the boy and strawberry shortcake for the girl.* The mother is getting a pillow and a set of dishes for Christmas from us and a bath set to go with it. my family and i try to help out atleast one family in need during the holiday season every year, and this year, it looks to be a very worthy cause. In the morning, i will be back over there to help her out with the blankets. The pillow cases are already done, and all that is left is the tying of the knots on the two layers of the fleece.

We know that even though things are tight around our home during the holidays, there are others out there that are much worse off than we are, and it always puts a joy in the holiday season when GM gives my father that nice Christmas bonus check every year to go and help out a family in need.

*yawns and shivvers*

Brrr it's a cold day in Michigan. Lastnight i didn't go to bed until 8:30 this morning. i stayed up all night long and wrapped christmas presents and made out christmas cards for myself and my mother. Then, after i finished, i came online to find over 600 e-mails that had to be sorted thru. What a night..ugh. i woke up officially and got around at about 4 pm. i ate breakfast at about 5...which consisted of whole milk, 4...yes 4!!!! eggs and 4 pieces of toast... working on my cholesterol... yeah that's it *thanks, dad **insert major eye roll here.** luckily i was a tad bit hungry and i prolly won't eat again til the wee hours of the night...lol. i'm not feeling too well today either. i have the chills and a fever and an upset tummy. i might go and lay down here in a few mins for a nap and cuddle up with stitch and nemo and dream of that Masterly One again...*swoons.* i love You Master Dave *awaits His phonecall and cuddles up in her warm comfy shivvering.*

Attempted Kidnapping!!!

Oh no, oh no!!! My Ex Andy came over to my house today to drop off a video tape He borrowed from my father, and brought O/our friend kaylee with Him. So, i went out and got the gifts i bought a while ago for His daughter *three year old cutie* and got out my stitch and nemo for bragging rights *insert innocent angelic look here.* HE TRIED TO KIDNAP STITCH!!! OH NO!!! HE DID, HE DID!!! i got stitch back and hugged him tight to my chest and cuddled him and told him everything was ok and the mean evil Master Andrew couldn't take him. Then i showed Him how much stitch was and told Him where to get His own stitch...the Meaniehead...geesh! my Master Dave stitch... no one else's...nope nope nope!! MINE!!! allllllll mine! *cuddles the poor attempted kidnapped stitch to her chest and hugs him tight.*

MEANIEHEADS are not allowed to play with stitch... *rule number one of stitch stuffy etiquette...nods nods nods.*

rule #2: A/anyone W/who looks to be a mean, evil, stuffy stealing attempted kidnapper will not be allowed to be within 6 feet of stitch.

rule #3: STITCH IS MINE!! ALL MINE!!! NOBODY ELSE'S.

rule #4: If there is an attempted kidnapping on the stitch i shall do whatever is necessary to get MY stitch back (even if it means kicking a person in the balls, stepping on their foot and saying GIVE ME MY STITCH YOU MEAN EVIL PERSON!!!)

rule #5: If Y/you don't like my stitch...then Y/you don't have to play with him..SO THERE!!! *sticks out tongue.*

rule #6: If Y/you can't play nice with stitch and/or any of my other stuffies, THEN YOU CAN'T COME INTO MY HOUSE EVER!!! lol.

*giggles and cuddles her stitch and nemo tight.* Poor stitch.

Brand New Blogger!

Welcome to my blog! Please take it easy with me whilest i get the hang of this. What to say..what to say... well!!! Pretty soon i'll be posting poems, journal entries, etc etc and whatnot per the request of that most wonderful Man in my life *swoons* i love You, oh Masterful One. Please check back, as i will be posting atleast three times a week.

Today:
Hmm today...well.. i came home from staying with Him all weekend long. W/we went shopping at the local mall, and had lots 'n lots of fun and cuddles and and and... *swoons* i just love Him lots :). He bought me a snowy stitch stuffy and a nemo stuffy too..and i love them to death and will sleep with them every night :-D *hugs them close to her.* Physical therapy sucked today, and i was in lots of pain afterwards *and not the good kind of pain either.* Every time i go, my therapist increases the work i have to do to get my ankle better. i swear she's sadistic or something.

Anyways...time to talk to the Masterly Dood... c'ya!